First; I want to Thank Bonnie the moderator of this website for allowing me to post on this topic. Bonnie is a sweet and kind person and hope you read her encouraging words.

It is my hope and prayers this Thanksgiving will give you strength, wisdom, and comfort to have a nice day. The holidays are always rough for us in the lost our child(ren) regardless of how they've died. They will hold a special place at the table with us tomorrow as a memory of being blessed by God in giving birth, some our adopted by caring and loving people inwhich God blessed us to apart of these preicous children.

Dec 26, 2011
I am going to take the time to keep writting on this site in hopes that my losses, strenghts, weaknesses, good or bad days will help you to get threw each day.

Happy New Year---2012 to everyone on our site. It's been awhile since I'v writenn; I thought I would write a few pages.
We are faced with another new year with out our love one; even thro we know they are safe in the arms of our beloved Jesus. Each year brings on new challenges of how to handle our grief, life and except the death or separation of our children. For some, they are still stuck in the grief; having more depression and acceptance of being gone. Other's push back in their minds not to dwell on it by over induge in their by work, read, exercise or just don't want to think about it. This is ok! however, a few years down the road it can sneak up on you quietly and then you are back where it all started.

Other teachings of Grief sometimes help and sometimes makes it wrose. I suggest to you is Keep close to God for he will give you his love, strength, wisdom and courage. I find it helpful when I read the bible and read someof the scriptures on how God suffered for us and our sins. In (Ps 38:11) "Because of my wounds, my friends and neightbors avoid me and my relatives stay far away. "
This is so very true in life. Just the other day I called my brother to wish him a Merry Christmas only for him to hung up on me.; more salt added to my wound didn't help me threw the holidays. Since my son's death there has been no contact with them (this is of their choice) and be honest with you it isn't really because of Doug's death; this feud between us has gone on since we were kids. They are using my son's death to punish me for their own shortcomings. However, it still bothers me cause I am a truly believer God put us here to be a family.We can't pick our family members but we can our friends but then when we least think they are are friends they too walk away.
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Their our many people whom just don't care, nor try to understand or want to give support to us Military Sucide suiviors ;let alone another person whom's child has a sickness and is award to the state yet theres so many sceno's for loosing our child (rend) People can be so cruel yet they haven't found our Lord Jesus to ask for forgiveness and following him. They just don't understand because they've never gone threw loosing a child and God for bid they do then they will know what it is like.

Has I go threw my grief, many other tragic events in my life and learning to deal with it all I find myself using the roller coaster ride in "Silence "cause the lack of support from others, friends, family and they don't want to hear it. They sometimes don't know what to say; it's up to us to guide them; when it is us that needs the warmth, compassion, to hear our child's name along with so many different emotions we feel.
Dr.Phil sometimes says we teach others how we want to be treated by allowing them to treat us badly. I believe this to be true but when it come to death it's another ball game.

Trying to get people to understand the intensity of pain that results from child loss is similar to teaching a child that the heat from fires burns. Most parents who go threw the lost of a child feel they don't get enough support or help; only to make the pain more intensify to them and no one to turn to help them. My son's 1st anniversary came and my brother called left the message saying"your years' up. How Cold! What he met to say is "Get Over It" and move on. Easy for him to say he still has his children (Thank God)
There's so much to write about and in time in hope to reach other's and help them understand what a grieving parent goes threw and for them next time they find out parent, siblings, cousins etc will try to understand and reach out in a "Positive" way to help end the "Stigma" that comes with Suicides. I will contiue later til then please pray for our Troops;veterans amd Fallem Hero's and their families.

Happy New Year Love Martha